Emotional intelligence (EQ) is about acknowledging your emotions, understanding them, and choosing how to respond—especially when the pressure is on. When you're leading others, EQ becomes even more essential. A well-timed pause or a thoughtful question can defuse tension, protect relationships, and model the kind of leadership people want to follow.

Here are three simple but powerful steps to help you lead with emotional intelligence:

1. Pause Before Reacting
When strong emotions hit—like frustration or anger—your first instinct might be to react. Instead, pause. That could mean taking a deep breath, going for a short walk, or even waiting until the next day to respond. A scathing email or harsh comment in a meeting might feel good in the moment, but it often leaves lasting damage. Give yourself space to cool off. Even 10 seconds can be enough to shift from reaction to reflection. Warren Buffet’s friend and mentor, Tom Murphy, once told him, “You can always tell someone to go to hell tomorrow.” Anger feels urgent, but if you can pause and take a break it will often dissipate and allow you to think more clearly.

2. Reflect and Process
Once you’ve created space, get curious. What’s really going on beneath the surface? Maybe your frustration is covering up disappointment or feeling disrespected. Labeling your emotions helps you understand them—and makes them easier to manage. You don’t have to process it all alone either. A quick conversation with a trusted peer can offer perspective and prevent unnecessary conflict.

You might simply say, “I need a little time to think about this—can we revisit later?” That kind of pause shows strength, not weakness.

3. Lead with Empathy
Emotional intelligence doesn’t stop with your own emotions. It also means tuning in to others. Ask yourself: What might they be going through? What could be influencing their behavior? Empathy doesn’t excuse poor actions, but it does help you lead with compassion and respond more wisely.

When leaders make people feel safe and understood—even during tense moments—they build trust. And trust is the foundation of high-performing teams.

Final Thought
Leading with emotional intelligence means slowing down, thinking clearly, and acting with intention. The next time emotions run high, remember you don’t have to say everything you’re thinking right then. Give it some time and see how you feel after some reflection.